Soliciting suggestions for ObamaCare faux-SOTU speech drinking game

My feeble effort to start a Twitter meme with the hashtag #obamacaredrink — asking for people’s suggestions on drinking-game rules for Wednesday’s non-State-of-the-Union address to Congress by President Obama — is looking like a dismal failure (much like Obama’s political strategy for health-care reform!), even though @MelissaTweets graciously took my RT-bait. Sooo, I figure I’ll go about this the, er, old-fashioned way, and just publish a blog post soliciting suggestions.

Here’s what I’ve come up with so far, for my part:

• Each time Obama is introduced as “the President of the United States,” yell, “SHOW US THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!!,” then drink.

• Each time Obama references “bending the cost curve,” drink.

• Each time Obama criticizes Republicans, explicitly or obliquely, for “playing politics,” drink.

• Each time Obama cites or characterizes criticism of his health-care plan by using a fudge phrase like “there are those who say,” drink. (Hat tip: Mike Marchand.)

• Each time Obama refers to the problems, crisis, deficit, or debt that he “inherited,” drink.

• Each time Obama mentions Ted Kennedy, yell “TEDDY!” in your best Boston accent, then drink. (The tasteless among us may substitute another word for “Teddy,” possibly one that rhymes with “Napa critic.” But I’m not tasteless, so I would never suggest such a thing.) (Hat tip: Mike Marchand again.)

• Each time there is a completely partisan standing ovation, in which only Democrats stand up, take a small drink (because this will happen a lot).

• Each time there is a bipartisan standing ovation, take a normal-size drink.

• Each time there is a completely partisan standing ovation, in which only Republicans stand up, take a big gulp.

• Each time Obama references “death panels,” take a big gulp. If he references them by saying his reform plan “won’t kill grandma” (or words to that effect), do a shot or finish your drink.

• Each time Obama points out somebody in the balcony with a health-care sob story, roll your eyes and drink.

• Each time Obama mentions, by name, a Republican who he says has been bipartisan, “reaching across the aisle,” etc., drink.

• Each time Joe Biden makes an odd facial expression, stands/sits inappropriately, or otherwise does something that seems like a nonverbal gaffe, take a small drink.

• Each time Nancy Pelosi looks like a mildly demonic deer-in-headlights… do nothing. Let’s not get alcohol poisoning here!!

• Each time Obama laughs at his own joke, drink. If the joke wasn’t funny, drink twice.

That’s all I’ve got for now — and I suspect it might be more than enough to get pretty sloshed, particularly for a Wednesday night! (I doubt that I, personally, will be playing this game, by the way. Unless I can find some willing accomplices, anyway.) Even so, please make your suggestions in comments, either as addendums to my list, or replacements for some items on it.